Silence Is Still Strength

ErinMedication13 Comments

When we are silent, we are still strong. Even when we feel like a cup not even half-empty, but tipped over, spilled across the floor, kicked, stepped on, cracked and forever broken, we’re still strong. You have a track record of making it through every single day up to today. No matter what choices you made, what mistakes happened, what … Read More

ErinSilence Is Still Strength

Antidepressant Withdrawal Hell

ErinMedication32 Comments

I feel terrible. I have what feels like the flu: nausea, muscle aches, nerve pain, tremors, hot and cold flashes, weakness, and lethargy. It’s lasted all month. The cause? I cut down my antidepressant by a measly 3mg. I don’t normally name my antidepressants on this blog, because meds affect everyone differently, but I’m naming this culprit: Cymbalta. I’ve been … Read More

ErinAntidepressant Withdrawal Hell

Choosing Depression Over Antidepressant Side Effects

ErinChronic Pain32 Comments

I feel lost in a foreign place. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am choosing depression over something else. Why would I do such a thing? The answer, in a word, is MIGRAINE. I’ve had a migraine every single day for a year.¬†With the dawning of 2016 I’ve felt myself surrender. I cannot take any … Read More

ErinChoosing Depression Over Antidepressant Side Effects

Little Matchstick Girl

ErinSurvival7 Comments

Sometimes I write an upbeat blog post, not because that’s how I feel all the time, but because it’s how I feel for a moment. For a moment, the other day, I thought, “Hell yes, I’m rocking my unhappiness!” And then later, when I inevitably feel weak again, I can go back to my blog and read up on how … Read More

ErinLittle Matchstick Girl

Do I Deserve to Feel Better?

ErinMedication4 Comments

This morning I talked with my psychiatrist about whether I deserve to feel better. We were talking about increasing my one antidepressant, and the idea of changing my mood, even for the better, scares me a little. Change is scary! Obviously, my psychiatrist feels that I deserve to feel better. But my mental health is in my hands more than … Read More

ErinDo I Deserve to Feel Better?

Mondays: Music, Memories & Medication

ErinMedication, medication, Monday Theme3 Comments

Along with music and memories, I’ve chosen the third “M” word for Monday’s themed posts to be medication. It’s the largest reason I am still alive today, still breathing, and functioning enough to write here. I have to spend a chunk of this week making sure I have enough medication to take with me on my upcoming travels. My psychiatrist … Read More

ErinMondays: Music, Memories & Medication

The Wellness Formula

ErinDiagnosis8 Comments

Guess what? I still have the flu! Today is day seven of lying on the couch, taking Gravol to keep food down, and boring the pants off my puppy. Yuck! I said to my friend S. the other day that I should be better by now. After all, isn’t this the formula for getting well? Liquids + rest = wellness … Read More

ErinThe Wellness Formula

Twelve Days of Christmas: Days 4 & 5

Erin12 Days of Christmas8 Comments

The past two days have been a bit strange for me since I’ve increased one of my antidepressants, Wellbutrin. My doctor gave me the okay to do so last week but I wanted to wait until after Christmas so any side-effects didn’t ruin my holiday. I feel a little flu-ish today and I did yesterday too, hence not posting here. … Read More

ErinTwelve Days of Christmas: Days 4 & 5

The Brave New World of Medication

ErinMedication, The Mental Health System2 Comments

I’m not going to lie: I’m swamped in getting ready for my craft show this weekend and have not written a new post. While I hope to be a Speedy Gonzales-esque writer one of these days and write ten posts ahead of schedule, it hasn’t happened yet. Don’t be disappointed, however! Tonight you get to step into the shoes of … Read More

ErinThe Brave New World of Medication

Meds, Part Two: Bad Emotional Reactions

ErinMedication, Symptoms and Side-Effects1 Comment

It was basically my worst nightmare to become suicidal from medication because after all, I was taking it to feel better, not worse. Thankfully, I didn’t have any really bad emotional effects from medication until I was well into treatment and could recognize when I was going downhill. Otherwise, it could have been fatal. As I write this I question … Read More

ErinMeds, Part Two: Bad Emotional Reactions