I’m Struggling With My Depression

ErinDay-to-Day Life9 Comments

I’m struggling. I need to tell you what’s going on because I think writing about it will help. I’ll follow-up in the next few posts with some of the simple yet effective ways I’m self-nurturing to get through my days, things that might work for you, too. The first (and honestly most upsetting) recent trigger for my worsened depression is … Read More

ErinI’m Struggling With My Depression

What Does Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Feel Like?

ErinSymptoms and Side-Effects4 Comments

What does it feel like to have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (or PTSD)? This is what it feels like for me on a bad day: It’s never ever feeling safe. It’s never taking a full breath of air in your lungs. It’s the feeling of walking barefoot over glass, except the feeling is all over your body every time you leave … Read More

ErinWhat Does Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Feel Like?

Why I Cannot Give Personal Advice Over Email

ErinBlog Maintenance7 Comments

I WANT TO HELP YOU. Every single one of you. I want to help every person on the planet because every person on the planet deserves help. And this world, it’s a giant ball of pain. And I am so fortunate. I’ve had access to many forms of mental health treatment. I’ve always had a doctor (if not the best … Read More

ErinWhy I Cannot Give Personal Advice Over Email

Rock Your Unhappiness

ErinDay-to-Day Life8 Comments

Okay, I’ve had it. It’s 11am on a Wednesday and I’m digging through the bottom of my closet looking for pennies to roll to take to the bank this afternoon. First I need to go to the dollar store, though, to spend money on those coin roller things. Then, if I’m lucky, I’ll have maybe $8 which I will go … Read More

ErinRock Your Unhappiness

An Untimely Good-Bye

ErinMy Art13 Comments

In mid-July, my psychiatrist broke bad news to me like a bad joke: “So, did you talk to your family doctor yet?” “….About what?” “Getting a new psychiatrist.” “WHAT!?” This is not the way to tell your patient that you’re retiring. Thankfully, my psychiatrist is the best in the world, so I was ready to forgive him for forgetting to … Read More

ErinAn Untimely Good-Bye

Consequences of Cutting: Why My “Coping” Method Backfired

ErinSymptoms and Side-Effects117 Comments

Most people find my blog through searching about hurting themselves and it’s time I spoke more about my self-injury history.¬†Although I dislike the terms “cutting” and “cutter,” I use them in this post for clarification and because those are such big terms used in internet searches and the media. Please stay safe and take care of yourself while reading this … Read More

ErinConsequences of Cutting: Why My “Coping” Method Backfired

Sharing the Storm

ErinDay-to-Day Life10 Comments

My parents recently asked me if I could update them more frequently on how I’m feeling so that they get some warning before a crisis. This is a perfectly logical request, but when I’m super depressed, it’s such a monotonous thing that talking about it can feel pointless. Picture this, Norman Rockwell style with old school curly telephone cords: Me … Read More

ErinSharing the Storm

When it’s Hard to Reach Out

ErinEmergency3 Comments

I wish I could reach out to at least one of you when I’m in a crisis. I know it’s hard for you, my friends and family, to receive my call from the Emergency room, but that’s how these things play out for me. After twelve years of suicidal feelings, I still feel ashamed to ask for help, and the … Read More

ErinWhen it’s Hard to Reach Out

Thank You! Zine Pre-Orders Open

ErinBlog Maintenance3 Comments

I woke up from a nightmare this morning to feel the sun on my face. Without even opening my eyes I recognized its warmth, and with a stretch that cracked several bones in my body, I reached out my foot while opening my eyes and pulled the blind down enough with my toes so that it rolled up toward the … Read More

ErinThank You! Zine Pre-Orders Open

How to Say “No” To Someone in Crisis

ErinSurvival6 Comments

I miss you. Ever since my encounter in early January, my confidence is much weaker. I don’t feel like myself, and since writing is a big part of who I am, it suffers too. I wish that everyone could always provoke a positive helpful response from others when reaching out for help. Reaching out for help is SO hard to … Read More

ErinHow to Say “No” To Someone in Crisis