When Someone You Love Decides to Die from Suicide

ErinSurvival18 Comments

Someone in my extended family died by suicide ten days ago. I’m really really upset. I loved this family member very very much, but I couldn’t afford the $1000 plane ticket to go to his funeral. I feel so guilty for not being physically there to pay my respects. To grieve. And I feel so guilty because I thought I was this … Read More

ErinWhen Someone You Love Decides to Die from Suicide

My Emmy-Winning Heart

ErinLife Events, News Stories17 Comments

What cures depression? Is it fame, fortune? This is what I know: HEART. Heart is the only thing that beats depression. This morning I woke up to a donation to Daisies and Bruises. PayPal alerted me with a chime on my phone. Next I saw a text from Jackie at HealthiNation: our videos won an Emmy last night! A few moments … Read More

ErinMy Emmy-Winning Heart

Together to Live: Youth Suicide Prevention Done Right

ErinLocal Events9 Comments

I used to think experiences were either good or bad – daisies or bruises – but I’m learning that sometimes they can be both. I have a lifetime of experience with suicide, but today that felt like an asset thanks to the Together to Live conference put on by the Ontario Centre of Excellence for Child and Youth Mental Health. Last night … Read More

ErinTogether to Live: Youth Suicide Prevention Done Right

O Captain, My Captain: Robin Williams

ErinNews Stories7 Comments

When Philip Seymour Hoffman died a few months ago, I decided not to blog about it. I didn’t want to be another person on the Internet squawking about this loss of someone I felt like I knew but never did know. And you know where I’m going now: Robin Williams. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Honest to God, I’d known about Robin Williams’s … Read More

ErinO Captain, My Captain: Robin Williams

Suicide: A Follow Up to Yesterday’s Post

ErinSurvival2 Comments

I want to follow up on yesterday’s post, Suicide Brings No Relief to Anyone, because I wrote it with a lot of emotion. Even twelve years after my friend Darlene’s suicide, I still feel angry, scared, guilty, and perplexed by her choice to end her life. I also want to acknowledge that when someone is suicidal, they most often aren’t … Read More

ErinSuicide: A Follow Up to Yesterday’s Post

Suicide Brings No Relief to Anyone

ErinSurvival10 Comments

**This post may be triggering because I talk openly about suicide. Visit my Help page for resources to help you or a loved one who is experiencing suicidal feelings.** Twelve years ago today my friend Darlene committed suicide. It was violent and horrible. I knew she was suicidal that night, but she had always taken herself to the hospital when … Read More

ErinSuicide Brings No Relief to Anyone

Future Fears

ErinThe Big Picture7 Comments

In these past few years, my Facebook feed has slowly become not about my friends’ lives, but the lives of their children. I used to do a double-take when a friend’s profile pic showed them suddenly thirty years younger than they were the day before, but now I sigh and say, “Another baby.” What’s really weird is when you are … Read More

ErinFuture Fears

Dear Younger Self: We Have Two Lives

ErinLetter To My Younger Self13 Comments

Dear younger self, I am learning that there are two lives we have to work with. The first one is the one we sculpt from the moment we learn to talk, the life we plan to have. Mine was incredible: My plan was to have a book published by the age of fourteen (which I later bumped up to twenty-one). … Read More

ErinDear Younger Self: We Have Two Lives

Ned Vizzini: Suicide Ends the Story

ErinBook Reviews1 Comment

Ned Vizzini, the author of It’s Kind of a Funny Story, died by suicide on Thursday. I just found out and burst into tears. He wrote other things which are of importance, too, but most of us know his name from his memoir turned Hollywood movie, starring Keir Gilchrist, Zach Galifianakis, Emma Roberts, and Viola Davis. It’s Kind of a … Read More

ErinNed Vizzini: Suicide Ends the Story

A Good Secret Gone Bad

ErinLife Events11 Comments

“Secrets keep you sick.” I’ve heard that phrase a few times in treatment and it’s really stuck with me. It’s something I say a lot, to both myself and others, but up until recently I thought it only applied to “bad” secrets. Like, not telling people in my life about my depression kept me really sick for a long time. … Read More

ErinA Good Secret Gone Bad