Guess what I’m doing? Posting a short post, with no photo, just because I can. I’ve had SO many ideas for blog posts in the past week and every time I get an idea I smother it with negative self-talk and pathetic excuses:
“It’s too late at night to write a blog post.”
“I’m too tired to write eloquently.”
“I need to think about this idea more before I share it with the world.”
“Yeah, but if I write about ____ then people will judge me.”
“This topic is controversial and I don’t want to upset people.”
“I’m an idiot.”
“I’ve already posted too much lately.”
Raise your hand if you like any of those sentences for describing my blog.
No one? Yeah, that’s cause if I followed any of those lines of thinking completely, this blog wouldn’t even exist. I’m going to assume for a minute that all of you readers like reading my blog. If you don’t…er…leave or something. Come back anytime. The internet is a place for you to visit sites you’re interested in.
Having your own blog means that no one can tell you that you’re doing it wrong. I’m not going to piss off my boss and get in trouble for writing about something because I don’t have a boss. I can piss off my readers, but I’ll cross that bridge if I ever get there. There’s no point in trying to prevent it if it keeps me from writing anything at all.
I like being my own boss but working independently means that I can get way too caught up with my own fears and insecurities. There’s no one else around to say, “Erin, get out of your own way!”
And, as much as I hate this back-and-forth arguing with myself, I think it’s important for me to document these things so you can see that I’m just a human being. I’m no prodigy genius spewing forth pure gold from my fingertips. I’m just a person fighting to make her own way in a world that likes people to be a cog in the machine of society. Independent artists don’t fit in with the machine metaphor.
I need to consciously tell myself that people want to hear from me. You, my readers, want to read what I have to say. I have a voice and I need to use it. I was born to communicate; we all are. SARK says that “expression is the opposite of depression.” I need to keep writing to keep my head above water. I need to. I will.
Remember that it’s important to write down the messages you tell yourself. It can give you some perspective. Write positive messages in your own words so that the sentence is relevant to you. I’m not positive all the time, but if I keep a record of positive thoughts then I can revisit them when I need to. I’ll be looking back at this post to keep me going.
I’ll be posting a new music post on Monday. Keep on keepin’ on. ♥