Macaroni: Spotted in Real Life

ErinLocal Events, The Big Picture13 Comments

It happened. Just like a dream, except real. The Universe delivered me a pearl of hope in my favourite sports car. No one has approached me since my recent post where I asked you to say hello if you saw me in public. The incentive for you to say hello was an offer of a free Daisies and Bruises button from … Read More

ErinMacaroni: Spotted in Real Life

Future Fears

ErinThe Big Picture7 Comments

In these past few years, my Facebook feed has slowly become not about my friends’ lives, but the lives of their children. I used to do a double-take when a friend’s profile pic showed them suddenly thirty years younger than they were the day before, but now I sigh and say, “Another baby.” What’s really weird is when you are … Read More

ErinFuture Fears

Dear Younger Self: We Have Two Lives

ErinLetter To My Younger Self13 Comments

Dear younger self, I am learning that there are two lives we have to work with. The first one is the one we sculpt from the moment we learn to talk, the life we plan to have. Mine was incredible: My plan was to have a book published by the age of fourteen (which I later bumped up to twenty-one). … Read More

ErinDear Younger Self: We Have Two Lives

What “Good Things?”

ErinCraft Projects4 Comments

I have a headache big enough to wipe out my entire block. It’s been here all week, but the last two days have resulted in excruciating pain. My eyeballs hurt, my teeth hurt. I’m rotating ice packs so that there’s always a cold one ready when this one thaws out. My “Good Things” jar mocks me from my counter top. … Read More

ErinWhat “Good Things?”

A “Good Things” Jar for 2014

ErinCraft Projects, My Art19 Comments

Last January I saw a project on Pinterest that involved making a jar to hold good memories for the year. From January 1st to December 31st, you were supposed to write down good things on pieces of paper, fold them up and stick them in the jar, so that on New Years Eve, you could look back on all the … Read More

ErinA “Good Things” Jar for 2014

A Good Secret Gone Bad

ErinLife Events11 Comments

“Secrets keep you sick.” I’ve heard that phrase a few times in treatment and it’s really stuck with me. It’s something I say a lot, to both myself and others, but up until recently I thought it only applied to “bad” secrets. Like, not telling people in my life about my depression kept me really sick for a long time. … Read More

ErinA Good Secret Gone Bad

Little Matchstick Girl

ErinSurvival7 Comments

Sometimes I write an upbeat blog post, not because that’s how I feel all the time, but because it’s how I feel for a moment. For a moment, the other day, I thought, “Hell yes, I’m rocking my unhappiness!” And then later, when I inevitably feel weak again, I can go back to my blog and read up on how … Read More

ErinLittle Matchstick Girl

Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit

ErinPsych Ward, The Mental Health System, Uncategorized17 Comments

I’m finally ready to write about this. You know how I’ve talked about there being an infinite amount of rock bottoms, at least in my life? During my last hospital stay, I ended up in the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit for the first time in my twelve years of being in London Ontario’s mental health care system. To back up … Read More

ErinPsychiatric Intensive Care Unit

Credit Where Credit’s Due

ErinDay-to-Day Life5 Comments

So the voices in my head have gained strength. No, not auditory hallucinations. I don’t literally hear voices, but I do hear my negative self-talk louder and clearer than ever. What’s it saying? I’m crazy. I’m a fuck-up. No one trusts me anymore. I ruin everything. Everyone hates me because I’ve made them worry about me. And on and on … Read More

ErinCredit Where Credit’s Due

My Favourite Mental Health Books

ErinBook Reviews4 Comments

Why do I write when I could become a therapist and earn a steady pay cheque? Because before speaking to any therapist about anything, I go to the library. Books are my number one therapist. I was probably the only student in the  history of A. B. Lucas Secondary School to skip class to go to the public library. Once … Read More

ErinMy Favourite Mental Health Books