My Emmy-Winning Heart

ErinLife Events, News Stories17 Comments

What cures depression? Is it fame, fortune? This is what I know: HEART. Heart is the only thing that beats depression. This morning I woke up to a donation to Daisies and Bruises. PayPal alerted me with a chime on my phone. Next I saw a text from Jackie at HealthiNation: our videos won an Emmy last night! A few moments … Read More

ErinMy Emmy-Winning Heart

Six Reasons I Stopped Cutting Myself

ErinSelf-Injury38 Comments

People keep finding my blog when they’re ready to self-injure but decide to search for help instead of engaging in cutting themselves. My words help them stay safe. I could not be happier about this. Stopping self-injury is one of my proudest achievements. I tend to get nervous sometimes, worried that I’ll slip back into hurting myself if something really … Read More

ErinSix Reasons I Stopped Cutting Myself

How to Stop Hurting Yourself

ErinSelf-Injury25 Comments

Most Google searches leading to this blog involve the words, “hurt myself.” So many people are looking for help in stopping self-harm, stopping cutting, bruising or any other kind of self-hurting. Self-harm is something I know a lot about. I could write hundreds of posts on the topic (and I probably will), but for now, I have two pieces of … Read More

ErinHow to Stop Hurting Yourself

Future Fears

ErinThe Big Picture7 Comments

In these past few years, my Facebook feed has slowly become not about my friends’ lives, but the lives of their children. I used to do a double-take when a friend’s profile pic showed them suddenly thirty years younger than they were the day before, but now I sigh and say, “Another baby.” What’s really weird is when you are … Read More

ErinFuture Fears

Dear Younger Self: We Have Two Lives

ErinLetter To My Younger Self13 Comments

Dear younger self, I am learning that there are two lives we have to work with. The first one is the one we sculpt from the moment we learn to talk, the life we plan to have. Mine was incredible: My plan was to have a book published by the age of fourteen (which I later bumped up to twenty-one). … Read More

ErinDear Younger Self: We Have Two Lives

Consequences of Cutting: Why My “Coping” Method Backfired

ErinSymptoms and Side-Effects117 Comments

Most people find my blog through searching about hurting themselves and it’s time I spoke more about my self-injury history. Although I dislike the terms “cutting” and “cutter,” I use them in this post for clarification and because those are such big terms used in internet searches and the media. Please stay safe and take care of yourself while reading this … Read More

ErinConsequences of Cutting: Why My “Coping” Method Backfired

Credit Where Credit’s Due

ErinDay-to-Day Life5 Comments

So the voices in my head have gained strength. No, not auditory hallucinations. I don’t literally hear voices, but I do hear my negative self-talk louder and clearer than ever. What’s it saying? I’m crazy. I’m a fuck-up. No one trusts me anymore. I ruin everything. Everyone hates me because I’ve made them worry about me. And on and on … Read More

ErinCredit Where Credit’s Due

Dirty Girls: Zinester Friends I Didn’t Have Until 25

ErinReviews4 Comments

This video is grabbing attention all over the internet as being an outsider in the 90’s is thrust into the spotlight. When I watch this video, I think of these girls as the friends I never had. These girls were in Grade Eight in 1996. I was in Grade Six that year, being tormented by the other kids and withdrawing … Read More

ErinDirty Girls: Zinester Friends I Didn’t Have Until 25

The Pulse of Impulsivity

ErinMy Art7 Comments

Even for a blog about depression, my posts have been fucking depressing lately. Talks of suicide, crisis, not finding support when I need it. Yeah, things have sucked lately. I even had to perform a half-ass dead squirrel memorial service this week! Yes, it involved a shovel.  (Erin fun-fact #135: squirrels are the best animals in the world after cats … Read More

ErinThe Pulse of Impulsivity

Drowning in Traumatic Waters

ErinArt Month, Symptoms and Side-Effects13 Comments

I am almost drowning in traumatic memories right now. That’s why I’ve been so depressed lately. Here’s a bit of the back-story: I was traumatized within an inch of my life as a child. I had repressed my abuse memories until I was twenty-five and then the memories started to surface in recognizable chunks. It took me two years before … Read More

ErinDrowning in Traumatic Waters