Happy Lists!
13 Feb 2012 10 Comments
in Day-to-Day Life, Fun, Survival Tags: coping, friendship, happy lists, lists, suicide, the life of erin, younger self
February is one of the ugliest months for weather but I took advantage of the sunshine today and walked to get bubble tea this afternoon. At the bubble tea shop I wrote a letter to my friend Victorya on pug stationery. In her letter I remarked at how good my mood was, despite it being a Monday. Then I realized that I’d combined a bunch of my favourite things together, and so of course I felt better than usual!
A walk in the sunshine + bubble tea + writing to a friend + pug stationery = Erin in a good mood!
That realization reminds me of something my friend Lisa and I used to do in Grade Seven. We started making these things we called “Happy Lists.” We’d each make a giant list of things that made us happy, mainly small things. Sometimes we’d compare lists after we’d each written like twenty things down. Often we’d hear things on the other person’s list and then say, “Oh, me too!” and add it to our own list.
The idea is hardly unique; remember that scene in The Sound of Music when the kids are afraid of a thunderstorm and so Mary sings that song about “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens?” You’ve heard the idea of Happy Lists before because it works!
Sometimes when things are really bad we forget all the stuff that we love. If you aren’t in the mood to make a list when you’re sad, try doing one when you’re happy to refer to the next time you’re sad.
Sometimes when I’m in a terrible mood I see a list and think, “Yeah, well bubble tea is okay but it’s no miracle.” Then I read down the list, feeling a teensy tiny bit better with each item. All of those teensy things add up! The longer the list you have the better.
In the past when I’ve been suicidal I think of some of the things I enjoy that I would miss if I weren’t around anymore. Or the next time someone asks you what you want for your birthday, look at your list! These Happy Lists are always helpful!
Click “More” below to read more of my list and feel free to leave some items from your Happy List in the comments! If you get stuck, try thinking about each of your senses: What do you love seeing? Tasting? Touching? Hearing? Smelling?
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Clothing, Dark and Bright.
06 Jul 2011 2 Comments
in Day-to-Day Life Tags: anxiety, art, art therapy, clothing, coping, growth, school, the life of erin, younger self
The other day I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a show I completely loved as a younger teenager. Okay maybe I still do love it. Anyway, I was watching it and looking at the styles from 1997 made me giggle but they also made me nostalgic. When I was really into the show I was about fourteen and it was very important to me to wear only what was “cool,” style my hair the right way, and talk as wittily as characters on tv. It was so simple! I just had to pay attention and copy what I saw around me. My parents were pretty cool in letting me wear what I wanted and I loved going out to buy clothes.
Fast forward to age sixteen: I flew across the ocean and live in France for three months. All of my “cool” clothes were so far from what was in over there that I was truly embarrassed. That said, everyone knew I was from Canada so they didn’t judge my wardrobe as harshly as they would have otherwise. By the time I flew home to Canada I had a bunch of cool French clothes to mix into my wardrobe. Unfortunately, my depression really took hold around that time and upon returning to my high school after the exchange, I realized just how small minded everyone around me was. No one understood my new clothes and I could no longer relate to what was “cool” here in Ontario. It seemed so ridiculous to care about what was “cool” when cool changes constantly.
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Letter to My Younger Self
24 Jun 2011 1 Comment
in Hindsight Tags: coping, eating disorders, high school, mindyourmind.ca, self harm, tattoos, younger self
Dear Younger Self,
I know life is hell right now. I know that it takes all of your energy just to get out of bed and thinking about feeling better is like thinking about moving to Mars one day. Believe it or not, however, hope is much closer than you think.
Being a teen sucks, but what they don’t tell you is that you are almost there. They tell you that after high school you can decide what career you want, but more importantly, you can decide what kind of life you want. You are almost at the point where you are old enough and capable enough to live on your own, and that is the key. No longer under your parents’ command, you can take care of yourself and do what you love! Sleep in, stay up late, play your music loud. Choose your groceries, your apartment decor, your reason for getting up every day, be it going to school or writing a music blog. The opportunities and choices are endless. Once you are an adult you are your own responsibility by law. You are free!
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