Surviving the Holidays
22 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in Survival Tags: change, coping, goals, school, stress
When I was a teenager I wasn’t always super excited about the holidays. I really looked forward to sleeping in and not having to go to school, but the multiple family gatherings and lack of a schedule made me nervous. Here are some tips on what I’ve found to be helpful during the holidays!
- Sleep in, but set your clock. Sleeping in is awesome but even on the days I do plan on sleeping in I set my alarm clock for like 11am. That way I can sort of plan my day in my head and not wake up later than I wanted to. Sometimes when I don’t set my clock I wake up at like 1pm and kick myself because I wanted to have more time to do stuff in the afternoon. Even a more relaxed schedule than usual is enough of a break as opposed to throwing schedules out the window. You’ll thank yourself when your holidays are over and you realize you got some of the things done that you’d hoped to.
- Learn a new skill. Two Christmases ago my mom taught my how to knit and I loved it not only because I could make practical things like scarves and whatnot but because I had something to do when family gatherings dragged on or I was bored while watching the obligatory Christmas movies. As long as you stay involved with the people around you there is no rule saying you can’t multitask! Keeping my hands busy is a huge way for me to de-stress.
- Go for a walk. This is a great way to get out of the house and have a breather during family events. Walking the dog is a great excuse! The streets are quieter and the snow and colourful lights are a treat to witness. I always feel like I’m in a Christmas movie when I walk past houses and can see people around their tree indoors.
- Celebrate the year in unique ways. For about three years now I’ve kept a notebook where I document each year as it winds up. I try to remember all the books that I read that year and glue in any movie ticket stubs I have lying around. I take screenshots of my favourite iTunes playlists and print them out. I glue them in my book so that when I’m older I can remember what I liked listening to in 2011. It’s neat because when you listen to music it can sometimes transport you back in time to when you first discovered it and this way you’ll know exactly what year your memories are from. These lists and collections can also be done as the year goes on – start new lists for 2012! Buy a notebook somewhere and start setting it up now. Listography.com is also a great site for keeping lists and recordings and even sharing them with others.
- Be gentle with yourself when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. It’s great to set goals for the upcoming year but don’t try to do too much all at once or you’ll set yourself up for failure. Aiming to eat healthier is a great idea but don’t promise yourself to do it ALL the time because just one small setback can make you discouraged enough to give up on your goal entirely. Break your goals into smaller more attainable pieces. For example, aim to choose fruit or vegetables over other snack foods three days a week. If you already do that, you can set the bar higher but be realistic with what’s achievable. Make sure to acknowledge what you’ve accomplished and give yourself a reward for meeting your goals, too.
So those are some tips on what help me get through the holidays. What do you plan on doing this year?
*this post was originally written for in 2010! I think it still applies. :)
Remembering the Montreal Massacre
06 Dec 2011 7 Comments
in Hindsight Tags: abuse, change, fear, PTSD, school, suicide, violence against women
Today is the twenty-second anniversary of the Montréal Massacre, during which a twenty-five-year-old male, Marc Lépine entered the École Polytechnique and after separating the men and women, opened fire on the women. He shot twenty-seven people, killing fourteen women total.
My family lived in Montréal the year before the massacre, but moved here to London, Ontario in 1989. Since I was only four at the time I don’t remember hearing about the tragedy when it occurred but certainly learned about it as I grew up.
The usual knot in the pit of my stomach is tighter today but I can’t name the feeling. Fear? Anger? Disgust? All of the above.
The Wikipedia article touches on the fact that a psychiatrist visited the shooter’s family, trying to make sense of why Marc Lépine committed such a heinous crime. Other psychiatrists analyzed his suicide note and researched Lépine’s childhood abuse, questioning whether he had a personality disorder or was experiencing psychosis that caused him to turn violent.
I feel angry when mental illness is a topic of conversation around murder. Yes, there is always the possibility that mental illness plays a role in murder (as in the recent Greyhound murder of Tim McLean) but the truth is that nine times out of ten, people want to explain the inexplicable by calling the murderer “crazy.” It’s safer to think that someone out of their mind would do such outrageous things, not just a regular person. Not your neighbour down the street, not someone that goes through the Tim Horton’s drive thru every morning. But up until December 6th, 1989, Marc Lépine was just like anybody else.
Therapy: School of Life
11 Aug 2011 3 Comments
in Therapy Tags: depression, life direction, mindyourmind.ca, school, therapy
My last post mentioned one reason I didn’t go to university or college: the fact that I felt invisible. There are actually many reasons I never went, but another reason that I am going to share with you now is that I couldn’t leave my therapist. When all my peers went away to school I stayed here because the rapport I had with my therapist was essential in keeping me afloat. I could have found a new therapist in the city I went to school in but I was so fragile that doing so was out of the question.
So I stayed in London and while there is a university here, it had no appeal for me. I decided to wait until I felt better emotionally and by the time that happened all of my ambition was gone. People tell me all the time that I should go back to school and they don’t realize that school is a really sensitive topic for me. So many things factor in to my decision not to go yet, one of which is maintaining proximity to my therapist.
When we hear about depression or other mental illnesses, we hear about their debilitating symptoms, but not about how debilitating treatment can be. While I acknowledge how fortunate I am to be receiving treatment at all, treatment is hard work.
More
Clothing, Dark and Bright.
06 Jul 2011 2 Comments
in Day-to-Day Life Tags: anxiety, art, art therapy, clothing, coping, growth, school, the life of erin, younger self
The other day I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a show I completely loved as a younger teenager. Okay maybe I still do love it. Anyway, I was watching it and looking at the styles from 1997 made me giggle but they also made me nostalgic. When I was really into the show I was about fourteen and it was very important to me to wear only what was “cool,” style my hair the right way, and talk as wittily as characters on tv. It was so simple! I just had to pay attention and copy what I saw around me. My parents were pretty cool in letting me wear what I wanted and I loved going out to buy clothes.
Fast forward to age sixteen: I flew across the ocean and live in France for three months. All of my “cool” clothes were so far from what was in over there that I was truly embarrassed. That said, everyone knew I was from Canada so they didn’t judge my wardrobe as harshly as they would have otherwise. By the time I flew home to Canada I had a bunch of cool French clothes to mix into my wardrobe. Unfortunately, my depression really took hold around that time and upon returning to my high school after the exchange, I realized just how small minded everyone around me was. No one understood my new clothes and I could no longer relate to what was “cool” here in Ontario. It seemed so ridiculous to care about what was “cool” when cool changes constantly.
More
Make Anxiety Work for You
01 Jul 2011 6 Comments
in Day-to-Day Life Tags: anxiety, coping skills, school, stress, writing
Anxiety can give you energy, that’s why people bite their nails or drum their fingers or bounce their legs. Doing something physical to expel that energy makes anxiety easier to tolerate. How do you channel that energy into something healthy? I think by already looking at what we do we can learn a lot about how we already cope well.
By the age we had to sit in desks daily at school I became nervous that everyone was staring at me if I had no one to talk to. I quickly became accustomed to finishing homework if I had nothing else to do but sometimes I didn’t have homework. Reading was an escape of mine but sometimes I accidentally left a book at home. That’s when I started to write. It didn’t matter what I was writing, my peers naturally thought I was working and left me alone. I started to write as if I had an imaginary friend, someone to talk to who wouldn’t judge me. I soon found that that friend was in fact, myself. Even if I was writing down negative thoughts, beating myself up, something in me felt at home when I wrote.
More
