100 Feelings
14 May 2012 7 Comments
in Blog Maintenance Tags: goals, growth, happiness
On the 100th day of school in Grade One we had to bring in 100 items of our choosing. I brought 100 pieces of popcorn. I don’t know if I ate the popcorn after, but probably not because everyone touched it while counting.
This is my 100th post. Yay! I would never have guessed that I’d written that many but WordPress counts these things.
I’m trying to make a habit of relishing the good things because there aren’t nearly enough of them in life. So 100 posts is pretty cool. And in just under a month’s time, Daisies and Bruises is going to reach its first year anniversary.
I have about 100 feelings right now. Pride, excitement, joy, anticipation, and satisfaction. Then I have my normal feelings of anxiety and depression, caution and fear.
I feel a bit wiser than when I started this blog, too. I’ve noticed some patterns in my writing habits, like how I tend to stop writing for a bit after I write a post I’m proud of writing. At first I tell myself that I want to make sure everyone reads that post before I continue, but then I start telling myself that I can’t write another post as good as the one before. Then I tell myself that post wasn’t that good to begin with. Then I start beating myself up for writing a new post. Then I just avoid writing, period. It can be fucking exhausting, being me.
Anyway, the countdown is on to the first-year-anniversary of Daisies and Bruises on June 16th. I’m super excited because this blog is going to grow in some exciting ways. Stay tuned!
Proof of Life
16 Apr 2012 7 Comments
in Survival Tags: coping, faith, happiness, wellness
Raise your hand if you’ve been to England.
Raise your hand if you’ve been to Africa.
China?
Australia?
The North Pole?
What if I told you that those places didn’t exist? You wouldn’t believe me, would you? I could argue that if you haven’t seen one of those places or all of those places, how do you know they are real?
You’d tell me that you’ve heard of them, that you’ve known people who have been there, that you know about the customs and the cities and the histories. Even if you haven’t been to those places, it would be impossible for me to convince you that they didn’t exist. There is too much proof.
How about wellness? Happiness? Have you ever been truly happy, depression free, hopeful?
Sometimes I forget that those things really exist. I can think about happiness and feel like I’d probably meet the Loch Ness Monster before ever feeling truly happy.
But other people have been there, they have been happy. Hundreds of thousands of people over the centuries. Millions! They have written music about it, books, movies and plays. They have put their flag in the ground to stamp proof of their conquest, just like Neil Armstrong planted his flag on the moon in 1969.
Emotion is harder to prove than physical measurable things, but it’s as real as anything else. And until I get there myself, I’m going to surround myself in as much proof of happiness as I can. Then, when it decides to make its way into my life, I will not only believe in it, I will recognize it. And I will hold onto it until you get there too.
Clear Skies Today
31 Oct 2011 4 Comments
in Day-to-Day Life Tags: anxiety, change, happiness, hope, puppy, the life of erin
Raise your hand if you don’t like puppies! Anyone?? I assume that none of you dislike puppies, but if I’m wrong, feel free to roll your eyes at the frequency my new puppy is going to appear on this blog in the next few weeks. That said, I won’t blog about my puppy without having some sort of mental health idea behind the entry.
The greatest thing about seeing a baby animal of any sort is that it makes you happy. You either with joy over its cute factor or else it is so that it makes you laugh. You probably know which category you fit into, and you probably know that I’m one of the squeeing folk.
This afternoon I stood in line at the pharmacy, doing a mini jig and trying to contain myself from bursting out, “I AM GETTING A PUPPY ON FRIDAY!! OMFG!!!! YOU’RE ALL INVITED TO A PUPPY PARTY!!” (Yes, that’s him in this post’s picture!)
It suddenly dawned on me that I could not remember the last time I’d felt so excited about something. Sure, I recently looked forward to moving into this apartment, but I wasn’t so excited about it that I felt I couldn’t wait. I wasn’t even this excited about getting our family puppy, Milo, six years ago because I wasn’t a dog fanatic then. Milo turned my life upside down and showed me the sunrise. *Cue Angels with Harps*
Okay, stop laughing at me for one minute and think about your own life. When was the last time you stopped what you were doing to fully connect with your emotions? We often stop what we are doing to express our sadness through tears, but happiness can be so fleeting. We often only realize our happiness when it stops.
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The Grand Essentials of Happiness
28 Oct 2011 1 Comment
in Survival Tags: happiness, pets, quotes
The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
~ Allan K. Chalmers
A simple post for you on this beautiful Friday morning! Getting well and feeling “normal” has felt light years away for me this week and I feel pretty hopeless. I came across this quote this morning however, and it simplified things for me. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my head and my problems that I forget about being happy with today. You’ve heard it before but I’ll say it again: Today is all we have.
I have things to do – too many things to do – and no reason to do them. To be perfectly honest I’ve been very depressed since I moved to this apartment about a month ago because I no longer have a pet with me. Jaspercat has moved home with my parents where he can play freely outside. I realized how unhappy he was being cooped up in a small apartment with me. I am terribly lonely.
I don’t trust people easily and this “love” that Chalmers speaks of in his quote is not something I ever hope to have in the romantic sense. I love my friends but I can’t see them as much as I would like to. Anyway, I’ll let you in on a secret: I’m hoping to get a puppy. That is what is giving me hope and fuel these days. Something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
What are you doing, loving, and hoping for right now?
