I wish it weren’t so socially unacceptable to scream. I mean, that’s kind of the point behind screaming – a scream stands out and therefore is a great defense mechanism in emergencies – but we don’t scream enough. We often feel like screaming but instead we swear or yell at someone else, or we bury it deep inside until our pain rears its head in some other form.
Sometimes it feels like my voice is trapped inside me and it’s a wonder I can make any sound at all. It takes bravery to speak. I’d love to be able to scream into a pillow like some people do but I’m never brave enough to even try that. I know it would do me good, but I also think hearing my own scream would be as therapeutic as the act of screaming.
Or would it scare me?
It would scare other people. They would probably overlook my invisible illness and berate me for scaring them.
Maybe if we feel like screaming but don’t feel safe enough to we can scream in other ways. Express ourselves in any healthy way we can, whether it’s some sort of art or just going for a run, getting our adrenaline flowing to remind us we’re alive.
Here’s another option:
Next time someone asks you how you are, if it applies to you, bravely state, “I feel like screaming today.”
See where it takes you. Sometimes honesty is the best way to get your truth out, but metaphor can feel safer.
I definitely feel like screaming these days.
