I feel alone and invisible a lot. It’s part of having depression and I think it’s also part of just who I am.
I spend so much time in my head that I forget to interact with the outside world, and then when I don’t have any interaction for a while, I feel like no one notices me. When really, people are probably noticing me and I’m just unaware.
Only a few things will break me out of my “alone and invisible” spell. One of those things is when another person who appears to be having a rough day. It’s usually a stranger I see on the bus or sitting alone at a coffee shop.
Yet I want to respect the other person and their silence. I know that when I’m feeling awful, I don’t usually want to talk to people I don’t know. Sometimes I actually want to be invisible. If a stranger were to talk to me at that moment I’d probably be very startled. So when I see another person who appears to be having a hard time I want to give them their space.
Here’s where it gets difficult because that’s the only time where I want to talk to people! I mean, I have to, I have to say SOMETHING because I feel like we’re related. Like we’re both from another planet that most people don’t know or talk about. Planet Depression. Planet Pain.
That’s when I hand out a Daisies and Bruises button. It’s me wanting to respect the person’s space and privacy while still giving them the message that they aren’t invisible to me.
I never stick around long enough to find out what the other person thinks. I shove the button into someone’s hands before making my exit.
Is that the right thing? I probably shouldn’t run from situations where I want to connect with someone. I’m too scared though.
Does it help when I give out buttons? I have no idea.
Do people notice the a website on the button and think I’m some do-gooder who is promoting a service? Maybe. But here’s the TRUTH:
I make my buttons by hand. I make the design, use a circle press to punch it out, and then I put it through my small button maker, which both laminates the paper with mylar and presses it over a metal shell. I pop it out of the button maker and I stick the copper pin in the back of the shell. Finished!
I could send my design to a factory that could do all that repetitive work for me, but I like making my buttons one at a time. My hands touching my work so I can then hand it to you.
It’s personal. Daisies and Bruises is just a blog by a girl who has depression. I don’t run ads here because I’m doing this to help people, not market to them. I’m a writer, an artist, a fellow invisible-feeling sad person. Buttons make me happy. I hope my button makes you happy.
If you’re one of those people who found my blog through me giving you a button, and you’re so inclined, please do comment and let me know what you think.
P.S. Yes, the buttons are available here if you really want one. If you order a Daisies and Bruises button, you get an additional one in the envelope for free so you can share one with a friend, too.