It’s Sunday morning, I’m watching a TED talk and I’m bawling. Sitting here in my pink cupcake pajamas, with my glasses on, no makeup, and a dog on my lap. And I’m crying good tears, tears of being allowed to feel and to hope and to ASK.
I make my living as an artist and my art is largely about shame. The shame of having a mental illness, the shame of not having a “real job,” and the shame that comes with vulnerability. In 2006 my shame was going to kill me if I kept quiet one second longer. So I looked my shame in the face and said, “FUCK YOU.”
And that’s where Daisies and Bruises was born. The title came from an Anne Sexton poem, and the content came from my heart. I started writing about depression, and how terrible it is. I started writing about loss and loneliness and fear. And I started selling my work in the form of a zine.
I now have four issues of Daisies and Bruises, and now (obviously) a blog. This Saturday, March 9th, at the 8th Annual Indie Media Fair, I am releasing issue five of my Daisies and Bruises zine. It will also be available through my Etsy Shop.
Why am I releasing a new issue? Because I have more to say than I can express online. I have to give you images with words, give you something tangible to hold. To put in your pocket and give you strength.
I am making my zine and asking for money with it. Money for printing costs, for the cost of my table, to make a living out of the only way I know how to interact with this world. Through art. I will also be selling other zines of mine, as well as one inch buttons.
I am asking for your money and I am giving you everything I have to give. As an artist it is my job, my duty, my passion.
So which TED talk made me cry? Amanda Palmer’s, of course. Her talk reminds me why I am proud to be an artist and why it’s more than okay to ask for what you need. Her talk reminds me that art is an exchange of trust, which is the most powerful of human emotions.
Amanda, you’re getting a copy of my zine, whether it is through snail mail or my next visit to Boston in September, or through my hands to yours as you crowd surf at one of your concerts. THANK YOU.