I’ve had all of these tabs open for over a week, planning on posting about each one of them and today I’ve realized that this is ridiculous. It’s time for one big sharing post!
Let’s start with the graphic I paired with this post. It’s been floating around Tumblr and I can’t find a source, unfortunately, but it hits the nail on the head with incredible precision. When I’m feeling depressed, it makes me feel a thousand times worse when someone tells me to cheer up because someone in the world is suffering more than I am. Not only does that message make me feel guilty for feeling bad but then I become overwhelmed with all the pain in the world and how helpless we all can feel. Next time you feel guilty for being depressed, remember this picture! Think about how silly it would be to tell a kid who’s happy about a lollipop to stop smiling because someone in the world owns a whole candy factory. It’s like one of my favourite Mark Twain quotes:
“Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size.”
Going Public With Depression by Kat Kinsman on CNN Living reminds me of the biggest reason I’m coping with my mental illnesses today: I spoke up after being silent for so long. In volunteering and later working for mindyourmind I started to share my story to help other people and doing so has kept me afloat. Kinsman’s article covers her experience with depression and provides links to many other authors and websites who inspired her to reach out and speak up.
Speaking of mindyourmind, I am super excited about their updated Help pages. As always, they provide useful tips and links for helping oneself and for helping a friend, but now they go one step further to explain everything you might need to know when first reaching out. I helped a lot with the initial redesign of the Help pages, especially the “waiting safely” part, in the section called I Need Help NOW. With my experience of attempting suicide several times, I am familiar with that horrible stage of waiting for help to arrive in an emergency. Most websites don’t go through the details of reaching out for help, waiting for help, and taking care of oneself in a crisis, but mindyourmind takes that crucial step.
What has inspired and motivated you this week?
Sep 15, 2012 @ 18:24:53
I really needed this post! I had a tough week, and that quote is just perfect. And it’s awesome to see that mym has been updated (I was actually there today interpreting for my hard-of-hearing girlfriend!); I was in crisis this week and those are great resources when you’re in that place.
I hope you’re doing well. Let’s get together soon!
Sep 15, 2012 @ 20:03:37
Great post. I was really impressed reading over the new sections you mentioned on the mym website. What a great idea! So many times the crisis advice given is limited to something like this “call a crisis line” or “call 911″ or “go to the nearest ER” and that is it. Not very accessible and it feels just too overwhelming. Often we sit wondering…is it really a crisis? Do I need to call? Am I really that sick? Am I sick? I’m scared! I need to do something…but do I need to call? I can’t call a friend, they will think I’m crazy etc…And round and round. This website goes beyond and gives details and a helping hand I feel like if I had read those tips in a crisis they might actually have really led me towards a viable safety solution.
The crisis section was so well written in fact I found it quite triggering to read. Brought back so many vivid memories of going through this myself and through it with friends. I do believe this website has the potential to help others feel less lost than I have felt. I will recommend it to clients in the future when I do get working!! :) And if I need to maybe even re-visit it myself.
Sep 16, 2012 @ 11:38:58
Thank you for sharing this. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels like this…though I do say that quite a bit to myself, that there are people out there who have it worse than me. And then I feel even worse because of all the crap in the world. Watching the news on a regular basis does that as well.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 11:04:27
The help pages ARE awesome. I love them. Thanks for the mindyourmind shout out! Also, liked that you brought up the whole phenomena of the “First World Problem”-type memes that are so popular right now. As someone who has never struggled significantly with depression or anxiety, and who has a tendency to get grumbly about stupid things (“Wah! It’s rainy, and I want to go to Starbucks!”) I actually love and appreciate those reminders. Like a slap in the face, they bring me back to the fact that I actually have a great life, and I should just get over myself and appreciate it. I feel like those reminders help me to stay positive and have perspective.
But, I do hate when people say “smile!” and “cheer up!” to someone who is struggling or feeling crappy. It’s so obnoxious, even with the good intention behind it. So yeah, I can see why those messages of like “you’ve got no real reason to be sad” would be troubling and guilt-inducing. I’d like to think that the people who create those are not trying to be purposely dismissive of people’s troubles or feelings, and are rather just trying to address a certain North American sense of entitlement and ridiculousness. However, you bring up a good point that saying that someone else has it worse is not helpful for someone who is having a genuine problem or who struggles daily to get up and be well. Thanks for the food for thought.
Sep 24, 2012 @ 19:05:48
I’m not a fan of those memes for a number of reasons, one of which is that it’s a very patronizing view of developing countries. People in developing countries are still allowed to complain if their cell phone service is down or they got splashed by a bus or whatever. Maybe this is totally off-topic, haha, I just get frustrated with the common Western idea of developing countries as a monolith to be pitied. It’s a hard balance, though! Being appreciative is a great thing, and it can definitely help to have those little reminders that things aren’t as bad as they seem. But it can also lead to the guilt issue or be problematic in other ways. It’s interesting to think about what that balance should look like!
(Sorry for the long rant, it’s just a very thought-provoking topic haha.)
Sep 24, 2012 @ 20:12:31
Yes! Well put! As much as I do appreciate the “wake -up call”, it IS trivializing to use other people’s circumstances as a benchmark for what it means to be happy of have it good. It bothers me that I need to have reminders of the fact that my life is good, but also that anyone needs to feel guilt about feeling bad or “venting” about what’s going on or what’s gone wrong that day. I WANT my friends to tell me if they’re having a bad day, not “suck it up” and think that they can’t talk about their feelings without thinking that they shouldn’t. I do stand by the fact that North Americans have generally taken complaining to the level of a general pastime, though. I hear people complaining about the dumbest things, and I count myself among them at times. Lots to think about.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 14:38:31
Reblogged this on The Bohemian Blank and commented:
:3