My trip away to attend my cousin’s wedding and visit my longtime friend in Salem, Massachusetts was amazing. Simply amazing. So great that in coming home I felt liberated, having witnessed true happiness and seeing so many new things. The world felt fresh and I spent my plane ride home making plans on how I could change my life for the better.
After landing back in Ontario, however, my mood sunk as I readjusted to home life. I always forget how busy the city gets again come September. Especially now that students from all over are back in town for school, my whole neighbourhood is teeming with people. Not only does my anxiety rise along with the swelling streets, deep down I’m still jealous of these students who seem so happy with their lives. Everyone starting or returning to school has a plan for their life and I don’t. I have small hopes for myself but I am so bitter about mental illness weighing me down.
I suppose recognizing reaching any goals is a good start. I actually never thought I’d meet my friend in Salem; we’ve been online friends for ten years but we only just met this past week. Meeting her was so amazing yet felt so natural. Beside her I recognized that good things can happen if we try hard enough. The second I had some spending money about six months ago I thought, “Why not make this happen?”
So I found a way, even though I probably “should have” saved that money to help myself get by this winter. The money wasn’t wasted however, it was invested in the best of ways. Memories do have a way of keeping us warm, don’t they?
In keeping up with my new trend of posts on Mondays, today I’m emphasizing the importance of making new memories for yourself. Good ones! Because even though we can get weighed down by life, we can always make new things happen and use those new memories to sustain ourselves.
Today is also World Suicide Prevention Day. Why not message a friend to remind them of a great memory you two share? Or make note of your favourite memory and put it somewhere to remind you of the good next time you’re struggling. Memories are worth staying alive for, whether it’s making new ones or hanging on to old ones, or a bit of both.