My trip away to attend my cousin’s wedding and visit my longtime friend in Salem, Massachusetts was amazing. Simply amazing. So great that in coming home I felt liberated, having witnessed true happiness and seeing so many new things. The world felt fresh and I spent my plane ride home making plans on how I could change my life for the better.
After landing back in Ontario, however, my mood sunk as I readjusted to home life. I always forget how busy the city gets again come September. Especially now that students from all over are back in town for school, my whole neighbourhood is teeming with people. Not only does my anxiety rise along with the swelling streets, deep down I’m still jealous of these students who seem so happy with their lives. Everyone starting or returning to school has a plan for their life and I don’t. I have small hopes for myself but I am so bitter about mental illness weighing me down.
I suppose recognizing reaching any goals is a good start. I actually never thought I’d meet my friend in Salem; we’ve been online friends for ten years but we only just met this past week. Meeting her was so amazing yet felt so natural. Beside her I recognized that good things can happen if we try hard enough. The second I had some spending money about six months ago I thought, “Why not make this happen?”
So I found a way, even though I probably “should have” saved that money to help myself get by this winter. The money wasn’t wasted however, it was invested in the best of ways. Memories do have a way of keeping us warm, don’t they?
In keeping up with my new trend of posts on Mondays, today I’m emphasizing the importance of making new memories for yourself. Good ones! Because even though we can get weighed down by life, we can always make new things happen and use those new memories to sustain ourselves.
Today is also World Suicide Prevention Day. Why not message a friend to remind them of a great memory you two share? Or make note of your favourite memory and put it somewhere to remind you of the good next time you’re struggling. Memories are worth staying alive for, whether it’s making new ones or hanging on to old ones, or a bit of both.
Sep 11, 2012 @ 12:50:39
Whenever I travel, I end up writing all these lists of how to improve my life when I get back, but when I return home, I feel so exhausted and stagnant again. It’s really hard to keep those positive feelings going, which is why I try to write everything down immediately, so at least I can find it again and try to make it happen. ♥
Sep 12, 2012 @ 22:52:08
Yeah, I literally wrote all the way home and filled a record amount of pages in my journal. It was pretty awesome!
Thanks for your encouragement and reading my blog to begin with. I miss you and love you x 1000!
Sep 12, 2012 @ 09:08:52
I can relate to the feeling of “jealousy” about school starting, in a way. Every September that I’m not teaching makes me feel a little jealous of my friends who are busy getting their classrooms ready etc. But really, school does not equal life or even define success. It’s a tough one to remember, but I know it’s true.
Sep 12, 2012 @ 22:49:16
Agreed! School is great but it’s a different world almost. I’ve always fantasized about being a teacher just to have a classroom to decorate every fall. If it would help you, we should go shopping for endless “back-to-school” supplies once they go on sale and then do something extraordinary with them to flaunt how much more fun it is to not have “hole punching” rules and whatnot! :P
Sep 14, 2012 @ 08:55:21
Yes. We’ll put random bulletin boards everywhere and buy those corrugated cardboard borders to decorate the edges. Good times.
Sep 15, 2012 @ 20:07:42
As you suggest, I’m writing you a message to remind you of a memory we share. I was thinking of you Sept 10 I do miss you. Enjoying your blog :) So glad you enjoyed your trip. You so deserve to have a wonderful trip and to create beautiful memories!