Have you seen him? I feel like he might have run away to go to Hollywood, since the movies I’ve made of him for YouTube (forgive me, they are 5+ years old) are very lame and he’s embarrassed. He knows he has talent and says he can be a star but I wish he’d told me his plan so I could have packed him his insulin in his kitty suitcase.
So, worst case scenario: he’s gone forever and I have to make up some ridiculous story to comfort myself. Best case scenario: he reads this post and comes home.
Jasper taught me something so important to my recovery that it saved my life on more than one occasion: the power of being needed.
Have you ever felt unimportant until you got a phone call from a friend asking why you missed school? Sometimes it takes the devotion of someone in your life to remind you of your value. I don’t trust people easily, and I don’t have a lot of friends, but my pets have filled in those slots in my life, dependent on me enough for me to feel of value.
Out of our household of four people, Jasper choose me as his favourite. He followed me around the house and cuddled with me at every opportunity. When I brushed my teeth before bed he would jump onto my shoulders as I spit in the sink; he kneaded my hair, purring me to sleep at night. I quickly started calling him Bebe because he was my baby.
Once when I was in the hospital, Jasper really wanted into my bedroom because he thought I was in there. Since my parents knew I wasn’t home, they didn’t open the door for Jasper to look for me no matter how hard he cried. His solution? He went into the back of our basement, broke into an air vent with his paws, and climbed through the walls into my bedroom.
When I was about seventeen, I was sitting on my bed just about to self-injure and Jasper put his paw across my arm, indicating that he couldn’t stand to see me hurt because he loved me so much. The thought of him having to live without me saved me from suicide on multiple occasions.
I remember being taught in high school that some people decide to have a baby only because they need to feel loved. On its own, it’s never a good idea to have a baby or adopt a pet only to fill a void in your life because the responsibility of raising a child or an animal is a huge commitment. I agree, but if you have the time and the money to devote to even just watering a plant, that responsibility just might be enough to keep you going when you feel like the world would be better off without you.
Who or what needs you? The more things we have that tie us to life, the stronger we are when stormy winds threaten to push us over. I have my pets and I have my readers, two very strong anchors.
Do me a favour and let me know if you see a Manx cat on TV. His tail is two inches long and he has a really good singing voice. Tell him to call home and I’ll bring him his insulin!