My cat is missing. He’s all I can think about. He’s been gone almost a week now and since he’s diabetic, it’s really is not looking good. :(
Have you seen him? I feel like he might have run away to go to Hollywood, since the movies I’ve made of him for YouTube (forgive me, they are 5+ years old) are very lame and he’s embarrassed. He knows he has talent and says he can be a star but I wish he’d told me his plan so I could have packed him his insulin in his kitty suitcase.
So, worst case scenario: he’s gone forever and I have to make up some ridiculous story to comfort myself. Best case scenario: he reads this post and comes home.
Jasper taught me something so important to my recovery that it saved my life on more than one occasion: the power of being needed.
Have you ever felt unimportant until you got a phone call from a friend asking why you missed school? Sometimes it takes the devotion of someone in your life to remind you of your value. I don’t trust people easily, and I don’t have a lot of friends, but my pets have filled in those slots in my life, dependent on me enough for me to feel of value.
Out of our household of four people, Jasper choose me as his favourite. He followed me around the house and cuddled with me at every opportunity. When I brushed my teeth before bed he would jump onto my shoulders as I spit in the sink; he kneaded my hair, purring me to sleep at night. I quickly started calling him Bebe because he was my baby.
Once when I was in the hospital, Jasper really wanted into my bedroom because he thought I was in there. Since my parents knew I wasn’t home, they didn’t open the door for Jasper to look for me no matter how hard he cried. His solution? He went into the back of our basement, broke into an air vent with his paws, and climbed through the walls into my bedroom.
When I was about seventeen, I was sitting on my bed just about to self-injure and Jasper put his paw across my arm, indicating that he couldn’t stand to see me hurt because he loved me so much. The thought of him having to live without me saved me from suicide on multiple occasions.
I remember being taught in high school that some people decide to have a baby only because they need to feel loved. On its own, it’s never a good idea to have a baby or adopt a pet only to fill a void in your life because the responsibility of raising a child or an animal is a huge commitment. I agree, but if you have the time and the money to devote to even just watering a plant, that responsibility just might be enough to keep you going when you feel like the world would be better off without you.
Who or what needs you? The more things we have that tie us to life, the stronger we are when stormy winds threaten to push us over. I have my pets and I have my readers, two very strong anchors.
Do me a favour and let me know if you see a Manx cat on TV. His tail is two inches long and he has a really good singing voice. Tell him to call home and I’ll bring him his insulin!
Jun 27, 2012 @ 11:57:13
Oh Jasper! Why haven’t you gone home yet?!?! Silly cat. I hope he reads this and realizes how much he is missed.
There are others in your life who need you, by the way.
Jun 27, 2012 @ 12:07:43
Aw, thanks Andrea! You got to that post super fast! lol. I need you too. <3!
Jun 27, 2012 @ 16:35:08
I’m sorry to hear about Jasper. I hope he comes home soon
Jun 29, 2012 @ 17:56:01
Thanks, Roma, I hope he comes home soon, too. :)
Jun 27, 2012 @ 20:56:49
NOOO! ok I have the streets of Toronto covered.. it’s hollywood of the north right? Sending lot’s of energy and positive thoughts out there for his safe return! I also agree with Andrea..even people who aren’t always around but think of you often :)
Jun 29, 2012 @ 17:56:38
Thanks, friend, for the kind comment and for keeping a look-out on the streets of Toronto!
Jun 27, 2012 @ 21:31:08
Ny thoughts are with you Erin. I need you I first stumbled acrossed your blog when my therapist was on vacation. I have been a subscriber ever since. my therapist is going away again. Am praying for both you and Jasper. I care. Jan
Jun 27, 2012 @ 21:48:36
Hi Jan,
I was thinking about that today, actually, how it was a year ago that I wrote about my therapist going on vacation and it’s come round again. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and your awesome loyalty. xo
Jun 28, 2012 @ 11:46:53
great post, erin. i hope jasper makes his way home :)
Jun 29, 2012 @ 18:04:33
Thanks, Emily! If this is the Emily I think it is (you don’t have to say) I didn’t even recognize you with your hair cut yesterday until it was too late to smile back! Plus I was with my friend from out of town so I was totally distracted. So yeah, hello, and it was nice to see you! And thanks again for the sweet comment. :)
Jun 28, 2012 @ 13:23:59
This post just about made me cry. I hope Jasper comes home soon! Although I’m sure they’ll have provided insulin in his trailer on the movie set.
I have two cats and a dog (and three cacti, but I think one is dead). One of the cats in particular has always kind of been “my” cat, sleeping on my bed every night and crying when I’m not home. When I was a kid, if I was crying, she would go find my mom and meow until my mom followed her and found me. Just last night, as she was sleeping on my pillow right above my head, I was thinking about how much I love her, and how upset she is every time I go off to university or even just stay somewhere else for a night. She’s so wonderful, and she helps keep me grounded. I’ve also had times when I was going to self-injure, and then she came into the room and jumped on my bed and curled up next to me, and I just couldn’t bear to do it in front of her so I cuddled with her instead of hurting myself.
This was a really long rant, I’m sorry, I just have infinite love for my pets and they have definitely saved my life before.
Jun 29, 2012 @ 18:06:44
Thanks, Kinnery. Pets are so so special and so important. I was talking with my therapist today and realized that I got Jasper the September that my depression came on full-speed and so his presence in my life is even more special. *sigh* Hopefully he shows up soon.
Jun 28, 2012 @ 13:25:12
(P.S. I need you, too.)
Jun 29, 2012 @ 18:06:58
I need you! <3
Jun 28, 2012 @ 14:29:48
I hope Jasper is on his way home to you as I type. xxx
Jun 29, 2012 @ 18:07:33
Thanks, Clare!
Jun 29, 2012 @ 13:59:51
This was such a sweet post. I hope you find Jasper! I can’t believe he found your room through the basement and then a vent!!! That’s incredible lol
Have you tried just old-fashioned putting up posters around the neighborhood?? That’s how my ex and I found his cat when we lost him. He was a few blocks away at someone’s house. We offered a reward, so that might help too.
Get home Jasper!!
Jun 29, 2012 @ 18:08:46
Yes, I’ve put up posters around the neighbourhood but haven’t heard anything yet. An old man did call, however, saying that he’d looked really hard in his backyard and that he hopes Jasper returns soon. It was so sweet!