Daisies and Bruises

About once a week I am told by a stranger that I look like Bif Naked. Ever since I got my baby bangs, it’s been a constant observation by people wherever I go. Especially in the summer, when my tattoos are showing, I get told that even more. My sister is often mistaken for being my twin so she too is told she looks like Bif.

So, naturally when Bif Naked came to London a few weeks ago, my friend Maranda and I had to see her. My sister bought tickets too and I was psyched to take a picture of the three of us look-a-likes together but last minute it turned out that my sister couldn’t go.

Anyway, Maranda and I stood in line outside of Call the Office and as soon as the doors opened we rushed to the stage to make sure we’d have a good view for the show. Call the Office is a small club and we ended up being right in the front by the time Bif came out. She was like two meters away from me!

I was surprised to see that Bif is actually pretty petite! I’m 5’8” and automatically assumed Bif would be tall too but she’s probably only about 5’4”. Another thing that surprised me is how girly she is. All her album art makes her look so tough – and she is tough, but she has a girly side that is obvious when you see her in person. She was fidgety and kind of awkward on stage and those things combined with her tough yet girly look reminded me of myself too.

Early on in the show she asked if anyone had any questions for her. Maranda is a huge Bif fan and she asked if Bif would draw her one of her trademark stick person Bifs for her to get tattooed! Bif thought that was awesome but said, “Okay, but Mommy’s working right now! Maybe after the show!” Everyone laughed.

She put on an amazing show though I wish it had been longer. Maranda and I waited around after she left the stage, hoping she’d come back out to draw the doodle for us. When she didn’t I spotted one of her band members and asked him if we would be able to grab her on her way out. He discreetly pointed to the door she’d be exiting through and told us to wait by it. “Don’t tell anyone I told you that!” he warned.

As we walked over to the door that he’d indicated, Maranda pointed out that I was even wearing the same coloured shirt as Bif that night. Someone overheard this comment and said, “You look just like her! I’ve been eyeing you all night, especially before she came out cause I thought you were her!”

Another guy overheard that comment and asked me, “Can I have my picture with you?” I burst out laughing and said, “Really?!” He said he was totally serious and it was so funny that I agreed to it. As I went to go over to him, however, Bif Naked came flying out of the stage door and left the building. Maranda and I and a few others chased after her and in the background I heard the guy who’d wanted my photo go, “Wait!” and then he had a big sigh as I went out of sight.

In the back parking lot Bif and her band member stopped at their rental car and she signed some autographs and posed for pictures. She drew the doodle for Maranda (which she now has tattooed on her arm) and posed for a picture with her. Then Maranda took a picture of me with Bif. I told Bif that everyone tells me I look like her but she didn’t say anything. I got the sense that she was very tired. Apparently she was only going to have two hours of sleep that night before getting on another flight.

The concert felt like it was over before it had even started but we had an awesome time. Maranda was elated about her soon-to-be-tattooed doodle and I couldn’t believe I’d gotten a picture with my twin! Apparently, Bif Naked is going to come back to London in the Fall and I’m trying to see her again then, hopefully getting a picture of me as a triplet with my sister present!

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