This blog now has seventeen posts, 39 comments and 12 subscribers. It has a piece of me woven into every word, sweat in every sentence and tears in every term. In short, this blog has become my life. So far it has taught me many things, these being the top:
1. I have more friends than I thought I did
I literally shook when I sent out Facebook messages, telling friends and acquaintances alike about my blog and consequently, my struggles, which have been mainly hidden up to this point. I was terrified but I knew that I had nothing to lose. What I did not expect was the outpouring of praise I received in return. I’m flabbergasted at how many people not only are interested in this blog but are willing to go out of their way to leave me a kind message of support. Thank you!
2. It is harder to write now that I have an audience
I can now count on my fingers which people will be notified the moment I hit “publish” after finishing a post. My goal for this blog is to reach and help as many people as possible but it was easier to write when I had only a vague idea of who those people would be. I worry about my readers learning more about my mental health history and being horrified. Yet, I can’t stop now so I will keep moving forward and hope not to lose readers instead of gaining them.
3. There will always be someone who is going to tell me that I’m wrong or who is going to try to correct me
I need to find a balance so that I can grow from constructive criticism while still trusting my own voice and ideas which is pretty hard for me to do in the first place. Along the same vein, there will always be comments that I won’t agree with. For example, someone told me that this blog is evidence that I am “flourishing.” Flourishing would be never getting depressed in the first place. Flourishing would be being able to keep a job and my sanity simultaneously. I am only building a garden here out of scrap parts in a junk yard. It may look pretty but it’s so far from a real garden that it hurts to think about too much.
4. My writing still needs improvement
I feel like my writing has actually improved in the past three weeks but it still has a long way to go. It’s great that having this blog forces me to put my mind and fingers to work at little harder than usual. I also need to push my subject matter a bit farther and write about things just outside of my comfort zone.
Overall, I’m really pleased with how this blog is doing so far and I have some exciting entries up my sleeve for the coming weeks. Stay tuned. :D